I just feel that I should start out this whole blog with a shit story. There are only a handful of things right now in my life that occupy my time. Not necessarily in order they are; Television, food, Hannah, work, Alison, Polly, and shit. Now when it comes to the topic of shit, I am not just talking about my own shit. I am primarily talking about Polly's shit, and Hannah's shit.
Last night Hannah unknowingly closed Polly in Alison and my bedroom. I did not hear Polly whining, and she proceeded to piss on our bedroom floor (If you don't know about our dog, I will have to fill you in later). After dragging her half-crippled backside through her own drainage, I figured that Polly needed a bath. I rinsed her off in the shower, and then shed the clothes of Hannah and I, and hopped in the shower as well. Since we have no bathtub, and our shower stall has a deep basin, Hannah and I use it sort of like a bathtub. If I sit right, with my right butt cheek on the drain, about 4 inches of water collects into a so-so cramped shallow tub. Hannah and I then proceed to use what available space that there is to play with her boats, and pour containers of water onto each other. Last night with Polly in the tub with us, we were really short of room. I gave Polly a good bathing, and was rinsing her off with margarine containers of water. I scooped up a bucketful of water, and lo and behold there was a turd in the container. It turns out that Polly had crapped in the shower. At first, I was not sure what I should do. I promptly threw the doors open, set Hannah onto the bathroom floor, and then climbed out myself. I left Polly in the shower, and adjusted the water spray to a jet in hopes of breaking up and sending the turds down the drain. No such luck. I had to drain the water, and then scoop the nuggets with wads of toilet paper. It is only about three feet from the shower to the toilet, but I managed to dry heave each time that I deposited soaking handfuls of paper and dung in the crapper. That is about it. I ended up having to get back in the shower later and rinse the poo water off Hannah, Polly, and I.
These are the sort of things that are the highlights of my life lately. Pathetic, isn't it?